Something needs to change. I don’t believe it is fair on us or future generations, if we carry on reinforcing the social shackles, and being socially irresponsible, around not talking about sex.
Our society is crumbling at its very seams with people becoming more and more disconnected from their core essence, sensuality, their physical bodies, and each other. It has to change.
Our continued lack of openness around sex, sexuality and sensuality is numbing society and creating disconnection, disempowerment and dis-ease for many in their lives. They are numb to the experience of life, the pleasures of intimacy, and the connection to sensuality. They don’t have the language or ability to communicate their emotions, needs, wants or desires. They are embarrassed to explore sensuality and fearful to discover the joys of their own body.
Sex is still a taboo – it has to be shaken off in 2022
When I tell people I am a Sexual Empowerment Liberator and Tantric Practitioner I am usually met with one of three reactions. It is either one of intrigue and curiosity, or awkwardness and embarrassment, or dismissive with an air of disgust. My assumption when I started that I would be met with disgust was unfounded. People DO want to have a place to talk about sex. They may feel awkward, and slightly embarrassed, but most people I speak to are intrigued and curious.
People need better platforms to discuss sex, sexuality and sensuality and not be entangled in our taboo cultural and societal distaste. Most of us can watch ‘sex’ based programmes on TV with a partner (OMG don’t even start me on how sex is represented in the media) or watch or read about sex, but very few of us have open conversations, even with our partner, because it is taboo and we worry about their reaction, rejection and judgement.
I personally had a secret life around sexual energy for over 20 years, and having been on my own journey with fear, shame and judgement – I get it. I know how hard it can be to openly talk about your needs, desires and openly explore sex, sexuality and sensuality.
Many of us are programmed to politely follow the cultural values around sex, and the belief that sex should not be talked about in front of anybody. Many people feel sex should be something very private, in a bedroom, between two people and not discussed at any point. I, on some level, agree and respect this view as sex can indeed be something very sacred, private and intimate between two lovers.
BUT, sex can mean different things to different people and in a broader term can also be experienced in other ways. Our often-narrow view that sex is about intercourse, and our inability to communicate our needs, around sex, sexuality and sensuality means we miss out.
Sex, sexual energy and sexuality are not just about the act of intercourse. It is SO much bigger than that. It includes sensuality around exploring with smell, touch, taste, sight and sounds. It is about foreplay, energy, exploration, mindfulness, massage, kink, tantra, even art, fashion, and so much more
In my work I see people living in fear and shame, riddled with guilt and worry, and in turmoil about their sexual needs, sexuality and sensuality and disconnection from their body. I have clients discuss with me things they are too scared to share with a partner. I watch tears roll down the faces of those who feel disconnected from their body, and support many who have never truly experienced sensuality and the pleasure of their body because they were too scared to ask, or receive.
Sex, sexuality and sensuality are all about connection, self-identity, self-empowerment, self-expression and communication. They are about pleasure, desire and exploring our amazing physical body – none of which should be taboo. If we can’t talk about sex then we can’t openly and confidently communicate our boundaries and needs. If our needs and desires are not met we become disconnected and then shut down in the relationships with ourselves and others.
Not openly and consciously talking about sex, sexuality and sensuality is detrimental to the mental well-being of individuals and society as a whole. We have a responsibility to ourselves and the next generation to be empowered in our sex, sexual energy and sensuality. We have a responsibility to start talking more about sex, sexuality and sensuality and shake off the taboo in 2022.