Conscious communication and consent can be complex and I can pretty much guarantee every single human-being, no matter who they are, finds navigating them a challenge throughout their entire life.
The issue is that we don’t always know what we want and if we do we don’t have the interpersonal skills to ask for it. We don’t always know how to say “no” or navigate communication about our needs, both in intimacy and life.
Take some time to consider the following questions:
Do you ask family and friends, including children, if they would like to receive a hug before you hug them?
Have you ever been hugged by someone at work and not wanted it?
Has someone ever touched your hand, arm or face and it made you feel uncomfortable?
Have you ever wanted to say no in intimacy and not said it?
Have you ever wanted to stay stop in the act of sex but didn’t in case you offended?
I know there will be many YES’s because the understanding around conscious communication and consent is NOT something we are born with. We learn it from early childhood modelling our interactions on those around us. Many of us don’t take action to learn this skill and use it in our life to have heathier relationships.
My awakening around conscious communication and consent really started when I started to explore swinging and BDSM (bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism and masochism). I made some poor choices within these lifestyles, sometimes putting myself into some risky situations. I made some very naive and awful mistakes around conscious communication and consent
I learnt very quickly that I needed to approach my interactions differently, communicate differently and be empowered in consent. I went through a very steep learning curve very quickly. It was a challenging part of my journey and one that left many scares on an emotional and physical level.
Conscious communication and consent are needed for EVERY relationship we navigate in life. It is the basis of every positive human interaction and relationship. It forms the foundations for all good healthy relationships and impacts on all areas of life.