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My Daily Self Care D0’s

There was a time in my life when I thought those who ranted about self-care were lazy selfish people who were just into the fluffy mushy stuff as a way to avoid hard work and the real world. I don’t think that any more – in fact understanding self care probably saved me from being very ill.

Learning about self-care showed and helped me to slow down, be present in my life and most of all – how to be happy. It is now something I do every single day, to get me in flow so I can be the best possible version of me. I now believe it is selfish NOT to carry out self-care because when I care for myself, I can help others in a more productive and supportive way.

For me having good self-care is now a non negotiable – it is an everyday MUST ! 
My 12 personal daily self-care DO’s are all based around things I NEVER did for myself before, but honour myself with now.  Maybe there are a couple you can add into your self-care!

LORRAINE ‘S DAILY DO’s 

  1. I start each day saying good morning to myself and smile
  2. I have breakfast
  3. I treat my physical body with appreciation – walk – dance – move – stretch
  4. I don’t compare myself to others – love me for me
  5. I practice breath work, meditation and/or mindfulness
  6. I never believe all my thoughts – some trick me into staying small and safe – that’s boring 😉
  7. I celebrate my wins in life – big and small 😉
  8. I do what makes me happy and lights me up EVERYDAY
  9. I treat others as I would want to be treated
  10. I am patient with myself – I am ever evolving
  11. I remember I can say no (with love) – if I don’t – my yes is worthless
  12. I write things down – diary, journal and I love a list 😉

 

 

 

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Crystals, Chakras and Tantric Massage

I have used crystals in my own life for many years and sometimes include them in my Tantric Massage sessions.

I place them on my altar, ask clients to hold them in a session, meditate with them, and place them on blocked chakras and even massage with them.  Crystals have a vibration and frequency and as a result of their molecular structure can absorb negative energies, much the same as humans. Just holding crystals and connecting to what you want can awaken your energy centres (known as chakras) and create a flow of energy that supports you.

Crystals can work through the blocks sending vitalizing energy directly to the chakras and freeing us from old stagnant, tried and negative energy.

When working with sensual and sexual energy it is important to unblock and recharge both the base/root chakra and sacral chakra because they harness and house the key to our sexual energy.  The heart chakra is also important for love and connection.

Different crystals can connect with different chakras, normally based on their colour. The base/root chakra works with mainly red crystals. It is situated at the base of the spine, closest to the earth and houses the “kundalini” life force. It helps us with being grounded and works with the mantra ‘ I exist’ and honours living life proudly

The sacral chakra works with mainly orange crystals and is situated  in the lower abdomen. It is connected to passion, sexuality, intimacy, pleasure, money, creativity, and joy. When balanced, it allows us to improve our relationships with ourselves, and others. The sacral Chakra mantra is ‘I desire’ and honours living your passion.

The heart chakra works with mainly green and also pink crystals and is situated in the heart centre. It is connected to love and compassion and when flowing freely it supports healthy relationships and connection. The heart chakra mantra is ‘ I love’ and honours being open to receive love.

Some crystals that support sensuality and sexuality include:
Red Jasper
Invigorates the libido and prolongs sexual excitement (male). 
Orange Carnelian
Recharges the sacral chakra energy, enhancing sexuality and restores vitality to the sex organs (female).
Dark Red Garnet
Dissolves any blockages that might exist in your lower chakras. 
Pink Rose Quartz
Opens the heart to love and trust between partners. It also helps increase self-love.
Smoky Quartz
Helps you accept that sex is normal, healthy and enjoyable. It helps to cleanse your sexual centres so that energy can flow freely.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Erectile Dysfunction

Having a condition that challenges his masculinity and his power, strength, control and vigour can be devastating. I have worked with many men who have suffered with erectile dysfunction and many have said it is in many ways worse than a marriage break up or losing a job. It impacts on not what they are but who they are. As a woman, I have no equivalent or comparison to arousal, orgasm and penetrative sex being all centred around having a hard penis. I don’t feel my sexual identify is judged on my sexual arousal or the physical structure of my genitals.

For me as a woman these things do not determine my pleasure or my performance.  For a man this is very different.  Erectile dysfunction challenges men’s masculinity and causes a lot of anxiety, fear and shame. Some men try medical approaches such as Viagra, penile implants or vacuum devices or other more alternative approaches such as hypnosis and acupuncture. These approaches can often be found to alter the stiffness, but don’t address the deeper issues around connection to self, mind-set, behaviour and self-awareness. They don’t address the energy or the cause.  From an energy perspective, erectile dysfunction is based around the emotion of guilt and shame and a lack of connection with the penis.

Energetically this can be linked to a number of things.

Examples include:

  • Unconscious thoughts and connections relating to childhood.
  • Relationships that challenge performance in any area life.
  • Relationships that challenge Feeling of being unsuccessful.
  • Feeling of weakness, guilt and shame when connecting to feminine qualities
  • Feel invalidated as a man.
  • Feeling a failure if/when their energy is controlled by the feminine.
  • Feeling that they can’t break away from a situation for fear of having no connection.
  • Feeling disconnected from being able to express themselves in sex.
  • Needs, wants and desires are challenged.

A combination of tantric massage, mindfulness, breath work, energy work and coaching can help change this.  As a practitioner I use the Energy Alignment Method and other energy modalities to help people change thoughts and beliefs and tantric massage and mindfulness to help reconnect back to the body. The emotions can be triggered at any time and can detach us from our body and cause dis-ease. These tools explore the energy behind the condition and help change the anatomical make up that causes such physical conditions.  If you would like to know more about how Shelki supports men with erectile dysfunction please email: info@shelki.com

 

 

 

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Men Deserve Better !

MASCULINITY– the way men are brought up to behave and the roles, attributes and behaviours that society expects of them – contributes to suicide in men.

SAMARITANS REPORT, ‘Men and Suicide

This statement is from a 2012 report by the Samaritans – BUT things have not changed. Samaritans in 2018 reported men are 3 times as likely to die from suicide than women and this has to STOP NOW!

Please lets STOP the message that showing your emotions is for girls and not manly. Lets STOP the message that ‘boys don’t cry’ and that they have to ‘man up’. These messages destroy lives.

As many of you know I work in transforming sexual energy through tantric massage and energy work. I work with both men and women in tantric massage and work on a deep level allowing clients to connect to their physical and energetic body. It is a beautiful honouring massage with rituals, meditations and breath work.

As energy moves through the body clients can experience a range of emotions and feelings. For some men this can be very new territory and feel scary. A lot of my male clients find it difficult to explain, express and communicate what they are feeling. They struggle to go deep inside and don’t always have the language to explain what they find when they get there. They get embarrassed if they get emotional and verbalise they need to ‘be a man’ and ‘stay in control’, ‘be strong’ and if they don’t they loose part of your masculinity – this has to change NOW!. it’s WRONG

The most amazing and strongest men I have met are those connected to their emotions. They show their vulnerability and express their feelings. They are empowered, and don’t hide behind sport, work and sex as a way of expressing and letting their emotions out. They can be a man, be vulnerable and be connected to who they are. All at the same time.

For those of you thinking things have changed. WRONG.

Please comment and share your thoughts, insights and tips and please post an emoji if its something you will support to change with men you know !

OUR MEN DESERVE BETTER !!!