Yin and Yang Relationships in the Bedroom and Business

In the intricate dance of life, the ancient Chinese philosophy of Yin and Yang offers profound insights into the dynamic interplay of complementary forces. While traditionally associated with natural phenomena, Yin and Yang principles also hold significant relevance in the realms of intimate relationships and business dynamics. By understanding and embracing these principles, individuals can cultivate greater harmony, balance, and success in both the bedroom and the boardroom.

The Yin and Yang of Intimate Relationships:

In the intimate sphere of the bedroom, the principles of Yin and Yang come to life in the complex dynamics of desire, connection, and pleasure. Yin qualities, representing receptivity, softness, and nurturing energy, are mirrored in moments of tenderness, emotional intimacy, and sensual exploration. Conversely, Yang qualities, embodying assertiveness, passion, and vitality, manifest in acts of passion, excitement, and physical expression.

Understanding the interplay between Yin and Yang energies allows partners to navigate the rich tapestry of sexual experiences with greater awareness and intentionality. It encourages them to embrace their natural inclinations while appreciating and honouring their partner’s desires and needs. By finding a harmonious balance between Yin and Yang energies, couples can deepen their connection, enhance intimacy, and elevate their shared experiences of pleasure and satisfaction.

Embracing Yin and Yang in Business:

Similarly, the principles of Yin and Yang resonate deeply in the dynamic landscape of business and entrepreneurship. In the fast-paced world of commerce, Yin qualities such as collaboration, empathy, and adaptability are essential for fostering teamwork, innovation, and organizational resilience. Meanwhile, Yang qualities such as leadership, strategy, and ambition drive growth, competitiveness, and strategic execution.

By recognizing and harnessing the power of Yin and Yang energies in the business realm, leaders can create thriving organizations that balance stability with agility, tradition with innovation, and collaboration with competition. Effective leadership involves understanding when to embody Yin or Yang qualities based on the needs of the situation and the organization. It requires leaders to cultivate a holistic approach that integrates empathy with decisiveness, creativity with strategic vision, and flexibility with resilience.

Finding Harmony in Both Realms:

What becomes evident is that the principles of Yin and Yang transcend boundaries, permeating all aspects of human experience. Whether in the intimate confines of the bedroom or the competitive arena of business, the quest for harmony and balance remains constant. In both realms, understanding and embracing the complementary forces of Yin and Yang enable individuals to navigate complexity, foster growth, and cultivate flourishing relationships.

Moreover, the parallels between intimate relationships and business dynamics highlight the interconnectedness of personal and professional spheres. Just as effective communication, trust, and mutual respect are essential for harmonious relationships, they are also foundational elements of successful collaborations, partnerships, and organizational cultures.

My Personal Journey with Yin and Yang:

In my own journey, inspired by my own courage and wisdom, I’ve danced between the Yin and Yang energies, navigating the depths of my being and the complexities of human experience. I’ve embraced the Yin qualities of introspection, intuition, and vulnerability, confronting the shadows of shame and guilt that once clouded my path. Yet, fuelled by my resilience and determination, I’ve also embodied the Yang energies of courage and determination, bravely stepping into the light of authenticity and self-discovery.

Examples of this come through exploring swinging, BDSM, and tantra which presented me with moments of darkness, where I grappled with inner conflicts and societal expectations. However, within these practices, I also found elements of both Yin and Yang embracing both each within all my experiences.

Swinging and BDSM, with their elements of exploration, power dynamics, and intensity, could be seen as embodying Yang qualities but each has give me space to deeply exploring both my yin and yang through my approach, partners and experiences.

Like Tantra, which would be viewed as very yin, Swinging and BDSM also developed my connection, consent, communication, sensuality, and surrender, qualities of Yin energies. Additionally, in my approach to both personal and professional life, I’ve often found myself dancing between masculine and feminine energies, adapting my energy, manners, and approach to suit the situation.

Sometimes, I embrace the assertiveness and decisiveness associated with Yang qualities, while other times, I embrace the nurturing and empathetic qualities associated with Yin energies. Through embracing these diverse experiences and energies, I’ve learned to find balance and harmony within myself, integrating both masculine and feminine aspects of my identity into a cohesive whole.

This balance has not only enriched my personal life but also influenced my approach to business, where I’ve learned to harness both Yin and Yang qualities to foster collaboration, innovation, and strategic leadership. It’s through this delicate balance that I’ve embarked on a transformative path of self-liberation and empowerment.

Understanding Yin and Yang is not merely an abstract philosophical concept but a practical and transformative framework for enhancing relationships in both the bedroom and business. By embracing the complementary forces of Yin and Yang, individuals can cultivate greater awareness, empathy, and resilience in their intimate relationships, fostering deeper connections and shared experiences of pleasure and fulfilment.

Simultaneously, integrating Yin and Yang principles into business practices enables leaders to create thriving organisations that balance innovation with tradition, collaboration with competition, and stability with adaptability. Ultimately, the journey towards finding harmony in both realms begins with a deeper understanding of the interconnectedness of Yin and Yang and the profound wisdom they offer for navigating the complexities of human experience.


Sex, Sexuality, and Meta Health

In recent years, there’s been a growing recognition of the profound connection between sexuality and meta health—a holistic approach that delves into the mind-body connection. As someone deeply immersed in energy modalities and somatic bodywork, I’ve witnessed firsthand the transformative power these practices hold within the realm of sex and sexuality.

At its essence, meta health acknowledges the intricate dance between our physical symptoms and underlying emotional or psychological imbalances. When it comes to matters of sex and sexuality, this holistic viewpoint encourages us to explore how our challenges in this area might be reflections of deeper emotional wounds or unresolved trauma. Whether it’s grappling with erectile dysfunction or experiencing a decrease in libido, these symptoms often serve as indicators that there are deeper issues calling for our attention and healing.

My journey in energy modalities and somatic bodywork has shown me the profound shifts that can occur when we engage with the energetic aspects of sex and sexuality. Practices like Reiki, tantra, and chakra balancing offer potent tools for releasing blocked energy and restoring harmony to our energetic systems. Likewise, somatic bodywork techniques such as massage, breathwork, and movement therapy provide avenues for releasing stored tension and trauma from the body, paving the way for greater sexual vitality and well-being.

One of the most beautiful aspects of meta health is its invitation to explore the symbolic meaning behind our sexual challenges. By delving into the deeper emotional and psychological roots of our sexual experiences, we gain invaluable insights into ourselves and our relationships. For instance, difficulty achieving orgasm might be linked to feelings of shame or guilt surrounding sex and sexuality, while a decreased libido could signal a disconnection from our own desires and needs.

Through the integration of energy modalities and somatic bodywork, we embark on a journey of healing and transformation. These holistic approaches empower us to take an active role in our healing journey, fostering self-awareness, self-compassion, and self-empowerment along the way. Instead of viewing our sexual challenges through a lens of shame or inadequacy, meta health encourages us to see them as opportunities for growth and self-discovery.

Let’s explore a few real-life examples to illustrate the power of this holistic approach:

Case Study 1: Sarah*, a 35-year-old woman, sought support for sexual dysfunction stemming from past trauma. Through sessions integrating Reiki and somatic bodywork, Sarah experienced a significant reduction in anxiety and an increased sense of safety and empowerment in her sexual experiences. This newfound confidence led to a renewed sense of intimacy and pleasure in her relationship.

Case Study 2: John*, a 40-year-old man, struggled with erectile dysfunction and performance anxiety. By addressing the underlying emotional factors contributing to his symptoms, John gained insight into the root causes of his anxiety. With ongoing support, he learned relaxation techniques and communication skills, resulting in a significant improvement in his sexual function and confidence.

Case Study 3: Mary*, a 50-year-old woman, experienced decreased libido and vaginal dryness following menopause. Through a holistic approach incorporating energy modalities and mindfulness practices, Mary reclaimed her sexual vitality and felt empowered in her post-menopausal journey.

In understanding the interconnectedness of our sexual experiences and our overall well-being, we open ourselves up to profound healing and transformation. Through the integration of energy modalities, somatic bodywork, and meta health principles, we reclaim our sexual vitality and experience greater fulfillment and joy in our intimate lives.

*Note: Names and identifying details have been changed to protect privacy.


The Secret Ingredient to a Productive Workplace

In the hustle and bustle of the modern workplace, discussions often revolve around time management, effective communication, and strategic planning. Yet, there’s a crucial, albeit often overlooked, factor that plays a pivotal role in shaping a productive work environment: intimacy and pleasure. Beyond the bedroom, these elements have the potential to significantly impact the dynamics of a workplace, fostering a culture of well-being that can translate into heightened creativity, increased collaboration, and improved overall performance.

In the relentless pursuit of productivity, stress is an inevitable companion. However, cultivating intimacy and pleasure can act as a powerful stress-reduction tool. A fulfilling personal life contributes to lower stress levels, enabling employees to navigate professional responsibilities with enhanced focus, improved decision-making, and a more positive overall atmosphere.

Positive interpersonal relationships, including those of an intimate nature, contribute to a harmonious work environment. When employees feel connected on a personal level, trust and camaraderie are strengthened. This sense of unity fosters a supportive atmosphere where team members are more likely to collaborate effectively, share ideas openly, and work towards common goals.

Creativity is the lifeblood of innovation, and a work environment that encourages creative thinking is key. Intimacy and pleasure contribute to a positive mindset, linked to enhanced creativity. Employees who feel happy and fulfilled in their personal lives are more likely to approach challenges with a solution-oriented mindset, leading to increased innovation and fresh perspectives within the workplace.

A crucial component of a healthy work environment is a balanced work-life dynamic. Recognizing the importance of personal fulfilment allows employees to recharge, returning to work with renewed energy. Employers who foster a workplace culture valuing intimacy and pleasure acknowledge the multifaceted lives of their employees, contributing to sustained productivity.

To explore how integrating pleasure and intimacy can revolutionize your workplace, consider our Business Climax Presentation and Training. For more details and inquiries, reach out to us at

In the evolving landscape of the modern workplace, it’s essential to recognize the holistic nature of individuals and the interconnectedness of personal and professional lives. Creating a workplace culture that values intimacy and pleasure enhances employee well-being and contributes to a more productive and thriving business 

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Igniting Passion and Connection: A Guide to Revitalise Your Relationship

In the intricate dance of love, maintaining the flame requires more than just initial chemistry. Relationships thrive on continuous effort, creativity, and a shared commitment to growth. Whether you’re in the honeymoon phase or have been partners for decades, here are proven methods to infuse excitement and energy into your connection.

Effective Communication: Lay the foundation with open, heartfelt conversations. Share your dreams, desires, and even fantasies. Honest communication fosters understanding and creates a platform for both partners to feel heard and valued.

Thrilling Surprises: Embrace spontaneity with surprises that resonate. A surprise dinner, a weekend getaway, or a thoughtful gift can reignite the magic and remind your partner of your unwavering affection.

Shared Quality Time: Invest in meaningful experiences together. Engage in activities that resonate with both of you, deepening your bond and crafting memories that last a lifetime.

Adventurous Spirit: Dare to explore the uncharted territories of life. From trying new cuisines to embarking on adrenaline-pumping adventures, shared novelties inject vigor into your relationship.

Nurturing Intimacy: Cultivate physical and emotional intimacy by continuously exploring new avenues to connect. Reviving passion is about rediscovering each other’s desires.

Express Affection: Shower your partner with sincere compliments and gestures. The power of touch, warm embraces, and verbal affirmations can rekindle the warmth of your connection.

Connect To Common Goals: Set joint goals that symbolise your journey together. Be it fitness milestones or shared travel plans, these aspirations fortify your partnership and celebrate mutual achievements.

Individual Growth: While togetherness is vital, fostering individual growth is equally important. Encourage personal pursuits to enrich both your lives.

Embrace Novelty: Dive into your partner’s interests and experiences. A willingness to engage in new activities together fosters emotional closeness.

Flirtatious Playfulness: Keep the flirtatious vibes alive. Playful teasing and lightheartedness can recapture the excitement of your early days.

Gratitude and Appreciation: Regularly express gratitude for your partner’s presence in your life. Simple acts of appreciation can prevent complacency and keep your connection vibrant.

Laughter as a Glue: Share laughter and joy. Engage in activities that tickle your funny bone, strengthening your bond and creating a treasure trove of happy memories.

In essence, revitalising a relationship involves nurturing an authentic bond, fostering emotional intimacy, and consistently putting effort into understanding and meeting each other’s needs. This journey requires dedication, attention, and the willingness to evolve together. Whether you’re igniting a new spark or rekindling an existing flame, these steps can guide you towards a more vibrant and fulfilling connection.


Mastering Sexual Energy with Mind, Body, Voice, and Soul!

Sexual energy is a powerful and transformative force that resides within each of us. Often seen as solely a physical aspect, sexual energy encompasses far more than just our bodies. It permeates our thoughts, emotions, voice, and soul, offering the potential for profound growth, connection, and self-discovery. 

There is an intricate relationship between sexual energy and the mind, body, voice, and soul, and how we can harness this energy to empower all aspects of our being.

The mind plays a crucial role in shaping our perception and experience of sexual energy. It is through our thoughts and beliefs that we either empower or hinder the flow of this energy. By cultivating a healthy and positive mindset towards sexuality, free from guilt, shame, or societal conditioning, we open ourselves to embrace the transformative power of sexual energy. Engaging in practices like mindfulness, self-reflection, and having conscious awareness allows us to explore in a safe and non-judgmental way. 

Our bodies are both the vessel and the instrument through which we experience and express our sexual energy. Honouring and caring for our bodies is crucial for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life. Engaging in regular exercise, maintaining a healthy diet, and practicing self-care help cultivate vitality, confidence, and body awareness, allowing us to fully embody our sexual energy. Exploring different forms of physical pleasure, such as through self-pleasure or intimate connections with others, can deepen our understanding of our bodies and enhance our connection with our sexual selves.

The voice is a powerful medium for expressing and communicating our sexual desires, boundaries, and needs. Cultivating a confident and authentic sexual voice involves embracing open and honest communication with ourselves and our partners. By actively listening and expressing our desires, consent, and boundaries, we create a safe and respectful space for sexual exploration and connection. Developing effective communication skills, practicing active listening, and nurturing empathy all contribute to an empowered sexual voice that respects and honours the voices of others.

Sexual energy also holds profound potential for spiritual connection and self-discovery. It can serve as a gateway to the deepest essence of our being and a catalyst for personal growth. By embracing the spiritual dimension of our sexuality, we can explore the connection between sexual energy engaging in practices like tantric sexuality, meditation, or mindful lovemaking allows us to cultivate a deeper sense of presence, connection, and transcendence during intimate experiences. It opens doors to profound self-exploration, the awakening of our sensual selves, and a deepening of our spiritual connection with ourselves and our partners.

Sexual energy is a life-force that intertwines with our mind, body, voice, and soul. By understanding and harnessing this energy, we can cultivate an empowered and fulfilling existence. Embracing a positive mindset, honouring our bodies, expressing our sexual voice, and exploring the spiritual dimension of our sexuality empowers us to harness the transformative power of sexual energy.  

Let us embark on this journey of self-discovery, self-acceptance, and connection, allowing sexual energy to serve as a catalyst for our holistic growth and the expression of our authentic selves.  Why not take a look at the Sexual Energy Mastery and start your journey today.   



I have written about this before but feeling really called to address it again – so here I am.

Men can face a lot of worry and anxiety around sex, I work with this energy alot. Many often worry about the size of their lingam and suffer anxiety around their performance in bed. They can often feel as much pressure to perform in the bedroom, as they do in other areas of their life. 

For men sex and intimacy can become a very masculine power-based, goal orientated energy. Alongside this they may also worry about feeling too sexual and to sexually driven. They can suffer anxiety around understanding their sexual needs, fantasies and desires. 

Sex and intimacy can create a lot of stress, tension and anxiety for men. There is often a constant internal and external pressure which is exhausting and draining. I have worked with men where this pressure around size, ability and performance has had devastating effects on their mental, physical and sexual well-being. It has created so much stress, anxiety and tension in their life that many of them have become very ill and/or had repeated failing relationships.   

When we introduce tantra into a ‘mans’ world we can celebrate the divine masculine power in a new way. Within tantra a man has permission to connect to his inner self, the five senses, breathing, slowing down, relaxing, giving and receiving pleasure. When a man is given permission to let go of control they can discover intimacy in flow, and without ego. They can become more connected to a journey of discovery and less connected to a destination through performance.

In tantra the beautiful macho powerhouse has permission to let ego step aside. He can find a space to be present with himself and ‘what is’. There is no need to control, and no need to always be the giver. He has permission to surrender and receive, which I acknowledge for many men is not always easy. 

Within tantra men can learn how to relax, slow down and be confident with their body. In tantra men can learn how to set aside their ego, let anxieties simply melt away, and enjoy the moment. They can learn how to receive pleasure and surrender to what is in each moment. They can drop the traditional ego based, performance focused powerhouse energy, as it is not required. 

Tantra can help men build an amazing connection to their body, energy and emotions. They can become more intimate in their connection with themself, and with others. It can help men who may feel insecure, have low self-worth and feel stressed. It can also help with low libido, performance anxiety and low body image. Tantra can help reduce stress, help manage emotions, and help relax mind and body. It can release any unwanted energy and trauma, and can be enlightening in showing many of the beautiful possibilities intimacy and pleasure has to offer. . 

I have worked with men and tantra and seen men connect to something within them they never knew existed. Their power found in their very willingness to surrender to themself. 

I have worked with men who have realised they don’t have to chase life because they are life. Men who have found compassion, love and truth within their own being. 

I have worked with men who have expanded their heart energy so much that life as they knew it changed beyond all recognition. Men who knew there was a different way, and found it. 

When a man opens himself up to tantra, when a man can give himself permission to receive into his mind, body and soul, when a man is open and willing to come home to himself, when a man can be vulnerable with his emotions and be present with an experience, that for me is indeed a mighty and powerful man. 

Copyright © 2022 Shelki (trading as Orgasmic Life).



There are many misconceptions about tantra and tantric massage, which are all largely based on cultural restrictions and taboos around sexual energy. Many people view connecting with sexual energy through massage as something very seedy. 

The truth is, tantric massage includes more than just massage. It aligns breathwork, meditation, mindfulness, movement and touch can be an amazing experience.  For me personally, and for many of my clients, tantric massage has been both liberating and healing. It helped me to reconnect, reset and realign my body and my sexual energy and really come home to myself in a deep and profound way. The impact it had on my life was such that I trained and now work as a tantric massage practitioner.

Tantric massage connects you to your mind, body, soul and even beyond into the universe. It caresses the core essence of our sexual energy, and holds space for your life force, and the very centre of your existence.

Tantra itself is not a new thing,  it is believed to have existed since 1500 BC. Many say it is considered to be part of the oldest cultures in our history. I believe that connecting to tantric principles through tantric massage is the most beautiful, honouring and self-connecting experience you can gift yourself.

Many people think tantric massage ends in the act of sex but this is not true. The journey is not based around any destination. It connects you to the core of your sexual energy by creating layers of awareness in the body. It works with the senses, and the mind ,and therefore can indeed feel very sensual. It also connects you into your emotions which in turn awakens different layers of the soul, and sensations in the body. 

Tantric massage sessions can include many things such breathwork, meditation, mindfulness, movement and touch. The breathwork supports you to relax into the space and expand your energy. Breathwork with meditation and mindfulness support you to be more connected and present with your body. The movement and touch also connect you to your energy centres and expands your feelings and emotions aligning you with your inner compass of wellbeing and physical health. There are also embodiment practices that support the session and used to help move energy and release limitations and blocks in your energy centres. 


  • Awakens and heals sexual energy 
  • Encourages sleep through relaxation 
  • Touch and massage relieve stress and anxiety 
  • Reduces depression through relaxation 
  • Improves self-confidence 
  • Improves body-confidence 
  • Greats inner happiness and blissful pleasure (happy hormones) 
  • Recharges and energises the body and mind  
  • Heals locked trauma in the body 
  • Teaches about touch and connection 
  • It can reduce high blood pressure 
  • The actual massage supports the lymphatic system, eases muscle tension and relaxes the body 
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The Male Body And Tantra

As human-beings, we are all designed for connection. We all seek a connection with other human-beings as a baby and child, and continue to do so throughout our entire adult life. Connection can come in many different forms; sexual connection is just one form. 

For some men, sexual connections can be very overwhelming.  There is a lot of pressure on men (and to be fair on all of us) to conform to the societal and cultural expectations around sex and intimacy. This, along with some distorted values and morals from our upbringing, a lack of good sex education, broken and abusive relationships, and many other factors, I believe men are currently confused about their role as a man, in and out of the bedroom.

With all the above in mind, what often happens to men, is they learn to connect with intimacy and sex as a sexual process, rather than a sensual experience. For many men, sex is a learned behaviour  (through the media etc) that comes from their head, instead of their heart.  It can be surrounded in masculine ego and macho culture, so it comes as no surprise that men receive so many mixed messages about sexuality, sexual energy, and how to show up as a man.  

Many of the men I meet and have worked with through my tantra work want something different. They generally want to leave ego at the door, be more connected to themselves, be more present with life and more connected to the experience of pleasure. Many of men I work with want to learn about connection and many long for some aspect of allowing, receiving and surrendering, whatever that may look like for them.

Men, hear me, please listen. Intimacy and pleasure are a heart-based experience, NOT a head-based experience.  The problem comes in that the pressure and focus on sex being a ‘performance’ is making some men ill.  It does not help that a man’s genitals are more exposed,  external and visitable, which in many ways can make them feel very vulnerable. The visibility of the genitals can create anxiety, tension and stress within the body and the mind. There can be a sense of pressure to be a certain size, have a healthy erection, and maintain it. There is a fear of being judged if things unfold too quickly or too slowly.

All of the pressures from upbringing, size, and performance can create stress, anxiety, depression and low self-esteem. This in turn can cause erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation and other conditions.  

Tantra invites you to grow in consciousness and be more connected to intimacy, full body orgasms, better health, and more energy. It advocates empowerment, self-connection and conscious communication with self and others.  This deeper consciousness can be achieved through greater connection to the senses, breathwork, mindfulness, self-awareness and generally a more conscious connection to self. Tantra is about surrendering and being present in your body at every moment. It is being connected to yourself as a man and letting go of the ego and macho energy that does not serve you. Tantra connects you to your feelings, your sensuality, your body, your passion, your intuition and your inner wisdom. For some men, this can sound very ‘fluffy’ and very feminine, but know when you drop the judgement, and embrace the experience, magic can happen in ways you never imagined were possible. Tantra provides a new way of experiencing intimacy and pleasure and provides a doorway to a conscious connection to self and others.

If you are a man who would like to explore tantra, why not join me on the ‘Tantra for the Male Body’ workshop and other events listed on



Conscious communication and consent can be complex and I can pretty much guarantee every single human-being, no matter who they are, finds navigating them a challenge throughout their entire life. 

The issue is that we don’t always know what we want and if we do we don’t have the interpersonal skills to ask for it. We don’t always know how to say “no” or navigate communication about our needs, both in intimacy and life. 

Take some time to consider the following questions:

Do you ask family and friends, including children, if they would like to receive a hug before you hug them?

Have you ever been hugged by someone at work and not wanted it?

Has someone ever touched your hand, arm or face and it made you feel uncomfortable?

Have you ever wanted to say no in intimacy and not said it?

Have you ever wanted to stay stop in the act of sex but didn’t  in case you offended? 

I know there will be many YES’s because the understanding around conscious communication and consent is NOT something we are born with. We learn it from early childhood modelling our interactions on those around us.  Many of us don’t take action to learn this skill and use it in our life to have heathier relationships. 

My awakening around conscious communication and consent really started when I started to explore swinging and BDSM (bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism and masochism). I made some poor choices within these lifestyles, sometimes putting myself into some risky situations. I made some very naive and awful mistakes around conscious communication and consent 

I learnt very quickly that I needed to approach my interactions differently, communicate differently and be empowered in consent.  I went through a very steep learning curve very quickly.  It was a challenging part of my journey and one that left many scares on an emotional and physical level. 

Conscious communication and  consent are needed for EVERY relationship we navigate in life. It is the basis of every positive human interaction and relationship. It forms the foundations for all good healthy relationships and impacts on all areas of life.


Shaking the Taboo in 2022

Something needs to change. I don’t believe it is fair on us or future generations, if we carry on reinforcing the social shackles, and being socially irresponsible, around not talking about sex. 

Our society is crumbling at its very seams with people becoming more and more disconnected from their core essence, sensuality, their physical bodies, and each other. It has to change. 

Our continued lack of openness around sex, sexuality and sensuality is numbing society and creating disconnection, disempowerment and dis-ease for many in their lives. They are numb to the experience of life, the pleasures of intimacy, and the connection to sensuality. They don’t have the language or ability to communicate their emotions, needs, wants or desires. They are embarrassed to explore sensuality and fearful to discover the joys of their own body. 

Sex is still a taboo – it has to be shaken off in 2022

When I tell people I am a Sexual Empowerment Liberator and Tantric Practitioner I am usually met with one of three reactions. It is either one of intrigue and curiosity, or awkwardness and embarrassment, or dismissive with an air of disgust.  My assumption when I started that I would be met with disgust was unfounded.  People DO want to have a place to talk about sex. They may feel awkward, and slightly embarrassed, but most people I speak to are intrigued and curious. 

People need better platforms to discuss sex, sexuality and sensuality and not be entangled in our taboo cultural and societal distaste. Most of us can watch ‘sex’ based programmes on TV with a partner (OMG don’t even start me on how sex is represented in the media) or watch or read about sex, but very few of us have open conversations, even with our partner, because it is taboo and we worry about their reaction, rejection and judgement. 

I personally had a secret life around sexual energy for over 20 years, and having been on my own journey with fear, shame and judgement – I get it. I know how hard it can be to openly talk about your needs, desires and openly explore sex, sexuality and sensuality.

Many of us are programmed to politely follow the cultural values around sex,  and the belief that sex should not be talked about in front of anybody. Many people feel sex should be something very private, in a bedroom, between two people and not discussed at any point. I, on some level, agree and respect this view as sex can indeed be something very sacred, private and intimate between two lovers.  

BUT, sex can mean different things to different people and in a broader term can also be experienced in other ways. Our often-narrow view that sex is about intercourse, and our inability to communicate our needs, around sex, sexuality and sensuality means we miss out. 

Sex, sexual energy and sexuality are not just about the act of intercourse. It is SO much bigger than that. It includes sensuality around exploring with smell, touch, taste, sight and sounds. It is about foreplay, energy, exploration, mindfulness, massage, kink, tantra, even art, fashion, and so much more

In my work I see people living in fear and shame, riddled with guilt and worry, and in turmoil about their sexual needs, sexuality and sensuality and disconnection from their body. I have clients discuss with me things they are too scared to share with a partner.  I watch tears roll down the faces of those who feel disconnected from their body, and support many who have never truly experienced sensuality and the pleasure of their body because they were too scared to ask, or receive. 

Sex, sexuality and sensuality are all about connection, self-identity, self-empowerment, self-expression and communication. They are about pleasure, desire and exploring our amazing physical body – none of which should be taboo. If we can’t talk about sex then we can’t openly and confidently communicate our boundaries and needs. If our needs and desires are not met we become disconnected and then shut down in the relationships with ourselves and others. 

Not openly and consciously talking about sex, sexuality and sensuality is detrimental to the mental well-being of individuals and society as a whole. We have a responsibility to ourselves and the next generation to be empowered in our sex, sexual energy and sensuality. We have a responsibility to start talking more about sex, sexuality and sensuality and shake off the taboo in 2022.