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YONI CONNECTION FOR THE DIVINE FEMININE

Have you ever received or felt sound vibrations in your Yoni?

Have you ever considered that sound could heal and reset your Yoni?

No, me neither but in July 2022, I attended a beautiful Gong Experience with Di McCann and that changed. The Gong Experience was both educational and inspiring, and had some unexpected bonuses for my Yoni. For those new to the term Yoni, it is often used in tantra and for the sacred energy of the divine feminine. It is the home of the womb, as well as the vagina and vulva.

The Gong Experience was hosted for a small group and after a brief, but informative, introduction Di created a space for everyone to have a unique journey with sound, focusing on working with the sacred frequencies, the breath, movement, and to experience the vibration of sound in the body. 

I have attended other sound baths and gong sessions but the introduction into this session, the encouragement for breath and the permission for gentle movement was such a beautiful gift, and very different. The Gong Experience was so expanding for me that even though there was no direct focus on the Yoni energy, or on Yoni healing, it was my Yoni that received much of the vibrational sound on this journey, 

Di created such a space  and held us all in that space in such a way that I was able to give myself full permission to completely submerse myself into this experience. I trusted that whatever this experience was it would be right for me.  The session unfolded and the sounds and vibrations ebbed and flowed. At times the sound and vibrations had me smiling and connecting to a real inner space of fun. At other times I felt very emotional and as if my body was clearing ‘old stuff’ as sound and vibration moved through me. The energy shifted and changed as the sounds within the session unfolded, the vibrational energy  was  magnificent

I was very aware during the session that the sound and vibrations were not just around me in my external energy but also very much moving through me, and within me.  As I gently moved my hips and pelvis, I completed different types of breath cycles and could really feel energy moving deep within me. I could feel the sound and its vibrations all over my Yoni space both externally and internally.

This was all very unexpected but as I continued to work with my breath  and engaged in more gentle hip rocking, and pelvic tilting my Yoni became alive.  I could really feel the energy moving within my Yoni space and as the sound and vibrations changed, I found my body moving in different ways. I felt so in my divine feminine and so awakened.

At one-point tears rolled down my face as I felt energy releasing from my body and at other point the energy felt cosmic, even orgasmic. Energy definitely moved for me and after I felt so amazing. I felt like my whole body had been reset, realigned and recalibrated. I felt so connected to my breath, my energy, my body and my yoni.

For days after I felt a deep sense of self connection and people said I looked glowing. I felt so alive within myself and felt I had gained a deep sense of knowing.  I felt so inspired by the Gong Experience and so connected to my Yoni. 

Everyone who attended had an experience unique to them. Everyone’s would have been different all based on their own belief systems, programming, and life events to date. There are  various life experiences that can create blocks and resistance in our energy. In this session I really felt some of these blocks where released, and connection was restored. 

This experience was so profound for me I asked Di if we could collaborate on an event to share my tantra work on connection to sexual energy, and her Gong Experience, with a focus on Yoni Connection. Our first workshop is on the 4th March 2023.  To find out more https://lorri.kartra.com/page/yoniworkshop

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TANTRA FOR MEN

I have written about this before but feeling really called to address it again – so here I am.

Men can face a lot of worry and anxiety around sex, I work with this energy alot. Many often worry about the size of their lingam and suffer anxiety around their performance in bed. They can often feel as much pressure to perform in the bedroom, as they do in other areas of their life. 

For men sex and intimacy can become a very masculine power-based, goal orientated energy. Alongside this they may also worry about feeling too sexual and to sexually driven. They can suffer anxiety around understanding their sexual needs, fantasies and desires. 

Sex and intimacy can create a lot of stress, tension and anxiety for men. There is often a constant internal and external pressure which is exhausting and draining. I have worked with men where this pressure around size, ability and performance has had devastating effects on their mental, physical and sexual well-being. It has created so much stress, anxiety and tension in their life that many of them have become very ill and/or had repeated failing relationships.   

When we introduce tantra into a ‘mans’ world we can celebrate the divine masculine power in a new way. Within tantra a man has permission to connect to his inner self, the five senses, breathing, slowing down, relaxing, giving and receiving pleasure. When a man is given permission to let go of control they can discover intimacy in flow, and without ego. They can become more connected to a journey of discovery and less connected to a destination through performance.

In tantra the beautiful macho powerhouse has permission to let ego step aside. He can find a space to be present with himself and ‘what is’. There is no need to control, and no need to always be the giver. He has permission to surrender and receive, which I acknowledge for many men is not always easy. 

Within tantra men can learn how to relax, slow down and be confident with their body. In tantra men can learn how to set aside their ego, let anxieties simply melt away, and enjoy the moment. They can learn how to receive pleasure and surrender to what is in each moment. They can drop the traditional ego based, performance focused powerhouse energy, as it is not required. 

Tantra can help men build an amazing connection to their body, energy and emotions. They can become more intimate in their connection with themself, and with others. It can help men who may feel insecure, have low self-worth and feel stressed. It can also help with low libido, performance anxiety and low body image. Tantra can help reduce stress, help manage emotions, and help relax mind and body. It can release any unwanted energy and trauma, and can be enlightening in showing many of the beautiful possibilities intimacy and pleasure has to offer. . 

I have worked with men and tantra and seen men connect to something within them they never knew existed. Their power found in their very willingness to surrender to themself. 

I have worked with men who have realised they don’t have to chase life because they are life. Men who have found compassion, love and truth within their own being. 

I have worked with men who have expanded their heart energy so much that life as they knew it changed beyond all recognition. Men who knew there was a different way, and found it. 

When a man opens himself up to tantra, when a man can give himself permission to receive into his mind, body and soul, when a man is open and willing to come home to himself, when a man can be vulnerable with his emotions and be present with an experience, that for me is indeed a mighty and powerful man. 

Copyright © 2022 Shelki (trading as Orgasmic Life).

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THE BENEFITS OF TANTRIC MASSAGE

There are many misconceptions about tantra and tantric massage, which are all largely based on cultural restrictions and taboos around sexual energy. Many people view connecting with sexual energy through massage as something very seedy. 

The truth is, tantric massage includes more than just massage. It aligns breathwork, meditation, mindfulness, movement and touch can be an amazing experience.  For me personally, and for many of my clients, tantric massage has been both liberating and healing. It helped me to reconnect, reset and realign my body and my sexual energy and really come home to myself in a deep and profound way. The impact it had on my life was such that I trained and now work as a tantric massage practitioner.

Tantric massage connects you to your mind, body, soul and even beyond into the universe. It caresses the core essence of our sexual energy, and holds space for your life force, and the very centre of your existence.

Tantra itself is not a new thing,  it is believed to have existed since 1500 BC. Many say it is considered to be part of the oldest cultures in our history. I believe that connecting to tantric principles through tantric massage is the most beautiful, honouring and self-connecting experience you can gift yourself.

Many people think tantric massage ends in the act of sex but this is not true. The journey is not based around any destination. It connects you to the core of your sexual energy by creating layers of awareness in the body. It works with the senses, and the mind ,and therefore can indeed feel very sensual. It also connects you into your emotions which in turn awakens different layers of the soul, and sensations in the body. 

Tantric massage sessions can include many things such breathwork, meditation, mindfulness, movement and touch. The breathwork supports you to relax into the space and expand your energy. Breathwork with meditation and mindfulness support you to be more connected and present with your body. The movement and touch also connect you to your energy centres and expands your feelings and emotions aligning you with your inner compass of wellbeing and physical health. There are also embodiment practices that support the session and used to help move energy and release limitations and blocks in your energy centres. 

A FEW BENEFITS OF TANTRIC MASSAGE 

  • Awakens and heals sexual energy 
  • Encourages sleep through relaxation 
  • Touch and massage relieve stress and anxiety 
  • Reduces depression through relaxation 
  • Improves self-confidence 
  • Improves body-confidence 
  • Greats inner happiness and blissful pleasure (happy hormones) 
  • Recharges and energises the body and mind  
  • Heals locked trauma in the body 
  • Teaches about touch and connection 
  • It can reduce high blood pressure 
  • The actual massage supports the lymphatic system, eases muscle tension and relaxes the body 
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The Male Body And Tantra

As human-beings, we are all designed for connection. We all seek a connection with other human-beings as a baby and child, and continue to do so throughout our entire adult life. Connection can come in many different forms; sexual connection is just one form. 

For some men, sexual connections can be very overwhelming.  There is a lot of pressure on men (and to be fair on all of us) to conform to the societal and cultural expectations around sex and intimacy. This, along with some distorted values and morals from our upbringing, a lack of good sex education, broken and abusive relationships, and many other factors, I believe men are currently confused about their role as a man, in and out of the bedroom.

With all the above in mind, what often happens to men, is they learn to connect with intimacy and sex as a sexual process, rather than a sensual experience. For many men, sex is a learned behaviour  (through the media etc) that comes from their head, instead of their heart.  It can be surrounded in masculine ego and macho culture, so it comes as no surprise that men receive so many mixed messages about sexuality, sexual energy, and how to show up as a man.  

Many of the men I meet and have worked with through my tantra work want something different. They generally want to leave ego at the door, be more connected to themselves, be more present with life and more connected to the experience of pleasure. Many of men I work with want to learn about connection and many long for some aspect of allowing, receiving and surrendering, whatever that may look like for them.

Men, hear me, please listen. Intimacy and pleasure are a heart-based experience, NOT a head-based experience.  The problem comes in that the pressure and focus on sex being a ‘performance’ is making some men ill.  It does not help that a man’s genitals are more exposed,  external and visitable, which in many ways can make them feel very vulnerable. The visibility of the genitals can create anxiety, tension and stress within the body and the mind. There can be a sense of pressure to be a certain size, have a healthy erection, and maintain it. There is a fear of being judged if things unfold too quickly or too slowly.

All of the pressures from upbringing, size, and performance can create stress, anxiety, depression and low self-esteem. This in turn can cause erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation and other conditions.  

Tantra invites you to grow in consciousness and be more connected to intimacy, full body orgasms, better health, and more energy. It advocates empowerment, self-connection and conscious communication with self and others.  This deeper consciousness can be achieved through greater connection to the senses, breathwork, mindfulness, self-awareness and generally a more conscious connection to self. Tantra is about surrendering and being present in your body at every moment. It is being connected to yourself as a man and letting go of the ego and macho energy that does not serve you. Tantra connects you to your feelings, your sensuality, your body, your passion, your intuition and your inner wisdom. For some men, this can sound very ‘fluffy’ and very feminine, but know when you drop the judgement, and embrace the experience, magic can happen in ways you never imagined were possible. Tantra provides a new way of experiencing intimacy and pleasure and provides a doorway to a conscious connection to self and others.

If you are a man who would like to explore tantra, why not join me on the ‘Tantra for the Male Body’ workshop and other events listed on www.orgasmiclife.me

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BEDROOM CONFIDENCE

Supporting people with confidence in the bedroom has become a key part of the work I do. Lacking bedroom confidence can have a devastating impact on relationships, marriages and I have seen it shatter lives. I have coached and mentored singles and couples alike to help them turn their lack of confidence into something that makes them flourish, in all areas of their lives.

Like many areas around intimacy and pleasure, a lack of confidence in the bedroom is not something openly talked about. The truth is, it is something that most of us face at some point in our lives. It maybe in our teens when we are embarking on new a relationship and more commonly in our adult years.

We can lack or lose bedroom confidence for many different reasons, such as, not having effective knowledge, being worried about our performance, verbal or physical abuse, challenges around communication, being naked, poor previous experiences; the list goes on.

This lack of confidence can become a vicious cycle as it can lead to reduced sexual response, reduced desire and the inability to orgasm. You may then suffer with low sex drive, sexual dysfunction, sexual arousal disorder and orgasmic disorder. This can create stress, judgement, fear and anxiety which can have a knock-on effect in other areas of your life.

The emotions attached can cause depression, anxiety and stress and in turn impact on your physical health. You can become disconnected, and experiencing any kind of pleasure in life can feel overwhelming.

Personally, I have struggled both in my youth and in some stages of adult life. At times I found it hard to communicate my needs, wants and desires and have been challenged by key events in my life which have knocked my confidence in the bedroom. As I have got older, my connection to intimacy and pleasure has evolved and exploring new things with a partner has, in the past, come with new obstacles to overcome. When you have a greater understanding of why you lack bedroom confidence, and how you can change it, there is a ripple effect through all areas of your life.

Taking supportive and aligned action to build bedroom confidence can change your whole life and give you a whole new perspective on intimacy.
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CONSCIOUS COMMUNICATION AND CONSENT.

Conscious communication and consent can be complex and I can pretty much guarantee every single human-being, no matter who they are, finds navigating them a challenge throughout their entire life. 

The issue is that we don’t always know what we want and if we do we don’t have the interpersonal skills to ask for it. We don’t always know how to say “no” or navigate communication about our needs, both in intimacy and life. 

Take some time to consider the following questions:

Do you ask family and friends, including children, if they would like to receive a hug before you hug them?

Have you ever been hugged by someone at work and not wanted it?

Has someone ever touched your hand, arm or face and it made you feel uncomfortable?

Have you ever wanted to say no in intimacy and not said it?

Have you ever wanted to stay stop in the act of sex but didn’t  in case you offended? 

I know there will be many YES’s because the understanding around conscious communication and consent is NOT something we are born with. We learn it from early childhood modelling our interactions on those around us.  Many of us don’t take action to learn this skill and use it in our life to have heathier relationships. 

My awakening around conscious communication and consent really started when I started to explore swinging and BDSM (bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism and masochism). I made some poor choices within these lifestyles, sometimes putting myself into some risky situations. I made some very naive and awful mistakes around conscious communication and consent 

I learnt very quickly that I needed to approach my interactions differently, communicate differently and be empowered in consent.  I went through a very steep learning curve very quickly.  It was a challenging part of my journey and one that left many scares on an emotional and physical level. 

Conscious communication and  consent are needed for EVERY relationship we navigate in life. It is the basis of every positive human interaction and relationship. It forms the foundations for all good healthy relationships and impacts on all areas of life.

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YOUR HOME, YOUR VEHICLE, YOUR BODY.

am finding more and more in the work I do that many of us are really becoming very disconnected from our body and struggle to have a relationship with ourself, let along anyone else. We are so busy living our life we have forgotten what we are. 

Take just a moment to think about your home ( whatever that is for you) , your vehicle (if you have one) and your body….

Which one of these do you spend more time maintaining?

Which one of these do you take most pride in?

Which one of these gives you the most joy?

Which one benefits you the most?

Which one have you had the longest? 

Well, I know I have had my body longer than any home or vehicle , in fact I was born with it. I have had my body all my life. Despite this very fact I believe that over the years I have put more effort into caring for my different homes and vehicles than I have my one and only body. This fact becomes a little more worrying when we realise that at any point, we can choice to completely change, trade or exchange a home or vehicle – our one and only body can be tweaked here and there, but it is pretty much a one owner, one life, one chance deal. 

Just stop for a moment and think about all the things you do in your home (and its contents) to keep it functioning and serving you in the best way. You clean it, decorated it, mend it and fix it, make it safe, buy it gifts, and share it with those you love creating beautiful memories.

Now, take a moment to think about all the things you do for your vehicle to keep it functioning and serving you in the best way. You clean it, maintain it, make it safe, wash it, service it and use it to move you from one place to another.  

Then what about all the things you do for your body to keep it functioning and servicing you in the best way. You clean it, maintain it, you may decorate it, make it safe, buy it gifts, use it to move you from one place to another, and share it in intimacy and pleasure creating beautiful memories 

What gets more of your attention, time and effort in a week, your home, your vehicle or your body? 

What we forget is that our body is our home, it is the home to everything you are. It is the compass to all of your health, emotions, thoughts, believes and is the home to the mechanics of your mind. You have a physical body that provides you with a home every day, it serves the best it can without giving a second thought. 

Your body is also your vehicle that gets you around, transports you and moves you about every day as best it can. We may not all use it in the same way, and some of us may have bits missing or not working the same as others, but we still have one in some form or shape that does its best for us every day. 

Do you spend more time caring for your home and vehicle than you do your body?

I am far from suggesting we should care for our homes or vehicle any less but we do need to remember that our body serves us as a home and as a vehicle every day.  When we connect with our body, we awaken our possibilities. When we connect with our body we connect with life. When we connect with the body, we connect with the world.  

What are you doing for your home and vehicle that you should also be doing for your body? 

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Mindfulness Changed My Sex Life

I can say without any hesitation that discovering meditation has been one of the greatest gifts I have given myself, my body, my mindAbout four years ago, my life faced some complex challenges. Without a shadow of a doubt, meditation and mindfulness saved me. It helped me manage my day-to-day stress and my feelings and emotions. I was able to approach life with more optimism and from a place of flow and connection.

Practicing meditation helped me be in the moment and accept things for what they were. Things I used to find a challenge became passing moments.

I have really loved my journey with mindfulness and regularly connect with nature, savour my food, be present with my body in the shower and really embrace the flavour of a coffee. The craziest thing is that being more mindful and having these activities has also helped my sex life.

Mindfulness is powerful stuff, but I was completely shocked when I realised it had also changed my sex life. By simply connecting with nature, savouring my food, being more present with my body, embracing a cup of coffee, I learned so much more about my mind and body and all the senses. It had a knock-on effect with pleasure and intimacy.    

Getting out of my head – made me better in bed.   

My sex life completely changed. My insecurities and worries faded away, and I am now wholly present in every moment. My senses feel more alive; sex is a sensual and whole experience filled with pleasure and curiosity. I am expanded and connected to my energy. I feel into my body and savour every second of being present in each moment.

I can communicate my needs better, surrender, and be present with what is and who I am with. I feel more expanded and connected. I am more present with self-exploration and self-pleasure and understand my body in a completely different way. My mind wanders less, and there is no fixed goal or outcome. I am on a journey that has no destination – I am present in it. I feel so empowered in intimacy, whether alone or with someone else. 

Mindfulness in sex is a must and works within the Tantric principles I follow with ease and grace. To find out more, explore www.shelki.com for workshops, courses, coaching, connection and more.

 

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Menopause and Tantric Massage

Menopause and Tantric Massage

Menopause can be a complex transition and for many women. They can feel disconnected from their bodies, sex, and intimacy.   Despite many women transitioning through menstruation, pregnancy, birth, and motherhood, menopause is a unique stage of transition. Every woman experiences it differently, and it can impact on mind and body in many ways. It affects a woman’s sexuality, sensuality, and sexual energy and can leave women feeling a deep mix of emotions, and many women struggle with the physical changes.

In my work, I have found that tantric massage can profoundly help women struggling with menopause to reconnect to their sexuality, sensuality, and sexual energy. The experience of combining both touch, massage, rituals, breathwork, mediation, and meditation can be extremely empowering and life-changing. It can empower a woman to connect with the body’s inner whisper and wisdom and reset the desire for passion and pleasure. I have worked with female clients struggling to transition to menopause to find an inner goddess and radiate like they have never done before.

Clients have found the tantric massage and its practices positively transform their menopause. They have permission to explore their connection with their body with no guilt, fear, or shame. It can also support issues such as pain, dryness, night sweats, hot flashes, vaginal dryness, anxiety, and loss of libido by seeking alternative ways to connect.

Tantric massage gives a woman a safe space to reconnect to her body and encourages self-exploration in a safe and supported way. It empowers communication, supports setting boundaries, and reconnects the mind and body to receiving touch. Women I have worked with also feel empowered in the self-care rituals and in considering new ways to connect to touch and physical connection to self.

Tantric massage supports reconnection with womanhood, helps rebuild the trust in the body, and empowers a woman to embrace her natural sexual self. It empowers her to rediscover her body all over again and helps with a balance of mind and body. It provides a renewed sense of intimacy with the body and builds confidence in relationships with self and others.

When delivering Tantric massage to a woman in the menopause transition, I have been amazed and astonished at the transformation they have experienced. As different as menopause is for every woman, so is their connection with tantric massage.  The one common theme is that in connecting to their body and mind through tantric massage, they connect, or reconnect, to a part of them they often believe they have lost, or they discover a new and exciting part of them to be explored and celebrated.

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Sex and Meditation

Meditation and sex may not seem to go together but there is surprising news……they do! Meditation and using the breath can actually improve a persons sex life in a big way.Meditation and using the breath in meditation has been part of my personal journey and self-discovery. It is also something that when typed into Google, it can lead to some interesting reading and research!

Our mental state in sex is very important and so is being present with the experience. Meditation has been found to increase desires, arousal and lubrication particularly for women and also help all of us switch off from every day life while being present with intimacy.Sex can often become something we do on auto pilot, a bit like when we drive a car. You know the day, and we have all done it, when you are driving and arrive somewhere and have no idea how you got there – in fact you don’t even remember getting in the car, driving it, changing gear or parking…….ever done that in sex?

We can all have times when we are so pre- wired to do things the same way that we don’t even worry that we are not present with the experience. Sex, like many aspects of life can become a routine, we can just run on auto pilot and not be present in honouring ourself, or our partner.It doesn’t matter if you are alone in intimacy, or with someone.  Being present with your amazing body is a great way to start being becoming more connected. You can do this by focusing on your breath and don’t wait to start – you can practice this during the day at any time to allow it to become a habit. Let’s face it, we need to be more present in many aspects of life.Concentrate on the flow of air through your nose and mouth, the feeling of the belly rising and falling. If you do notice that your mind has wandered you can bring yourself back to your body with the breath.Anchor yourself into a moment and be present with sensations in your body and be present moment to moment, if you practice the breath, you can retrain yourself and then do it without any conscious thought.Being present with the breath is a form of meditation and this can reduce the amount of cortisol in the brain, reducing stress and increasing libido.

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EXAMPLES

Exercise One – Allow your chest to expand. Take a deep inhalation through your nose. Retain your breath for a count of 5. Slowly release your breath by exhaling through your nose.

Exercise Two – Inhale for a count of 5. Exhale for a count of 5.

Exercise Three – Keep the mouth closed, inhale slowly through your nose for 2 counts. Shape your lips as though you were going to whistle and exhale slowly by blowing air through your lips for a count of 4.