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Menopause, Midlife, and Empowerment

As the host of the Business Sexcess podcast, I’ve had the privilege of engaging in some truly transformative conversations. One that resonated deeply was the two-part series, Menopause, Midlife, and Empowerment – A Conversation with Fiona Gehring. These episodes weren’t just discussions, they were a deep dive into one of the most significant yet often overlooked phases of a woman’s life. Today, I want to share why this series is so important and reflect on the incredible insights Fiona brought to our conversation.Menopause is a universal experience for women, yet it’s surrounded by stigma and misunderstanding. 

For many, it’s framed as a negative milestone, reduced to physical symptoms and dismissed as a sign of aging. But menopause is so much more than that. It’s a time of transformation, physically, emotionally, and mentally, and it deserves open and honest conversation. That’s exactly what we aimed to create in this series.Fiona Gehring, the founder of Midpoint 4 Women, joined me to shine a light on the challenges and opportunities that come with menopause and midlife. Her passion for supporting women during this phase of life was evident from the start, and I knew this would be a conversation full of honesty, vulnerability, and empowerment.In the first episode, Fiona and I explored the wide-ranging impact of menopause on relationships, careers, and self-confidence. 

One of the most memorable moments for me was hearing Fiona describe her 12-week Midpoint Programme. She’s created a roadmap for women to navigate menopause with compassion and support, offering tools to manage both physical symptoms and emotional challenges.As someone who’s experienced the complexities of midlife firsthand, I found myself nodding along as Fiona talked about the importance of community. Menopause can feel isolating, but it doesn’t have to be. Fiona’s emphasis on open communication and fostering understanding resonated deeply with me. Whether it’s in the workplace, at home, or within social circles, breaking the silence around menopause is essential.

In the second part of our series, Fiona and I went beyond the surface to discuss the opportunities that midlife presents. Menopause is often seen as an ending, but Fiona reframed it as a beginning—a chance to redefine goals, rediscover passions, and embrace self-reinvention.One thing I love is Fiona’s advice on symptom management. From mindfulness practices to prioritising self-care, she shared practical tips that listeners can apply immediately. We also talked about how menopause affects relationships, not just with others, but with ourselves. Fiona’s insights into maintaining open communication and nurturing self-compassion were incredibly powerful.

Five empowering tips for midlife women:

Embrace Menopause as a New Beginning – Instead of seeing menopause as an ending, reframe it as an opportunity for self-discovery and growth. Use this time to redefine your goals, explore new passions, and focus on what truly brings you joy.

Prioritize Self-Care – Managing menopause symptoms requires a holistic approach. Incorporate mindfulness practices, movement, nourishing foods, and quality sleep into your routine. Small changes can have a significant impact on your well-being.

Build a Support Network – Menopause can feel isolating, but you don’t have to go through it alone. Engage with supportive communities, whether online or in-person, to share experiences, seek advice, and feel understood.

Advocate for Yourself in the Workplace and Relationships – Open conversations about menopause with employers, partners, and friends can foster understanding and create a more supportive environment. Speak up about your needs and set boundaries where necessary.

Cultivate Self-Compassion and Confidence – Midlife is a time to celebrate your wisdom and strength. Let go of societal expectations and embrace your evolving identity with confidence. Give yourself grace, acknowledge your resilience, and step into this new phase with empowerment.

Menopause has touched my life in ways I’ve often struggled to articulate, and having this space to talk openly about it felt liberating. Fiona’s wisdom and warmth made it easy to dive into topics that are often considered taboo, and I’m so grateful for the opportunity to share this conversation with our listeners.If you’ve ever felt lost or overwhelmed by the changes that come with menopause, these episodes are for you. Fiona and I aimed to create a safe space where listeners could feel seen, heard, and empowered. Whether you’re navigating menopause yourself or supporting someone who is, this series offers practical advice and heartfelt reflections to guide you through.Menopause is not the end of the story, it’s a new chapter, full of possibilities. Listen Buzzsprout (Links to Fiona are the episode notes) 

1

Sex, Sexuality, and Meta Health

In recent years, there’s been a growing recognition of the profound connection between sexuality and meta health—a holistic approach that delves into the mind-body connection. As someone deeply immersed in energy modalities and somatic bodywork, I’ve witnessed firsthand the transformative power these practices hold within the realm of sex and sexuality.

At its essence, meta health acknowledges the intricate dance between our physical symptoms and underlying emotional or psychological imbalances. When it comes to matters of sex and sexuality, this holistic viewpoint encourages us to explore how our challenges in this area might be reflections of deeper emotional wounds or unresolved trauma. Whether it’s grappling with erectile dysfunction or experiencing a decrease in libido, these symptoms often serve as indicators that there are deeper issues calling for our attention and healing.

My journey in energy modalities and somatic bodywork has shown me the profound shifts that can occur when we engage with the energetic aspects of sex and sexuality. Practices like Reiki, tantra, and chakra balancing offer potent tools for releasing blocked energy and restoring harmony to our energetic systems. Likewise, somatic bodywork techniques such as massage, breathwork, and movement therapy provide avenues for releasing stored tension and trauma from the body, paving the way for greater sexual vitality and well-being.

One of the most beautiful aspects of meta health is its invitation to explore the symbolic meaning behind our sexual challenges. By delving into the deeper emotional and psychological roots of our sexual experiences, we gain invaluable insights into ourselves and our relationships. For instance, difficulty achieving orgasm might be linked to feelings of shame or guilt surrounding sex and sexuality, while a decreased libido could signal a disconnection from our own desires and needs.

Through the integration of energy modalities and somatic bodywork, we embark on a journey of healing and transformation. These holistic approaches empower us to take an active role in our healing journey, fostering self-awareness, self-compassion, and self-empowerment along the way. Instead of viewing our sexual challenges through a lens of shame or inadequacy, meta health encourages us to see them as opportunities for growth and self-discovery.

Let’s explore a few real-life examples to illustrate the power of this holistic approach:

Case Study 1: Sarah*, a 35-year-old woman, sought support for sexual dysfunction stemming from past trauma. Through sessions integrating Reiki and somatic bodywork, Sarah experienced a significant reduction in anxiety and an increased sense of safety and empowerment in her sexual experiences. This newfound confidence led to a renewed sense of intimacy and pleasure in her relationship.

Case Study 2: John*, a 40-year-old man, struggled with erectile dysfunction and performance anxiety. By addressing the underlying emotional factors contributing to his symptoms, John gained insight into the root causes of his anxiety. With ongoing support, he learned relaxation techniques and communication skills, resulting in a significant improvement in his sexual function and confidence.

Case Study 3: Mary*, a 50-year-old woman, experienced decreased libido and vaginal dryness following menopause. Through a holistic approach incorporating energy modalities and mindfulness practices, Mary reclaimed her sexual vitality and felt empowered in her post-menopausal journey.

In understanding the interconnectedness of our sexual experiences and our overall well-being, we open ourselves up to profound healing and transformation. Through the integration of energy modalities, somatic bodywork, and meta health principles, we reclaim our sexual vitality and experience greater fulfillment and joy in our intimate lives.

*Note: Names and identifying details have been changed to protect privacy.

8

YONI CONNECTION FOR THE DIVINE FEMININE

Have you ever received or felt sound vibrations in your Yoni?

Have you ever considered that sound could heal and reset your Yoni?

No, me neither but in July 2022, I attended a beautiful Gong Experience with Di McCann and that changed. The Gong Experience was both educational and inspiring, and had some unexpected bonuses for my Yoni. For those new to the term Yoni, it is often used in tantra and for the sacred energy of the divine feminine. It is the home of the womb, as well as the vagina and vulva.

The Gong Experience was hosted for a small group and after a brief, but informative, introduction Di created a space for everyone to have a unique journey with sound, focusing on working with the sacred frequencies, the breath, movement, and to experience the vibration of sound in the body. 

I have attended other sound baths and gong sessions but the introduction into this session, the encouragement for breath and the permission for gentle movement was such a beautiful gift, and very different. The Gong Experience was so expanding for me that even though there was no direct focus on the Yoni energy, or on Yoni healing, it was my Yoni that received much of the vibrational sound on this journey, 

Di created such a space  and held us all in that space in such a way that I was able to give myself full permission to completely submerse myself into this experience. I trusted that whatever this experience was it would be right for me.  The session unfolded and the sounds and vibrations ebbed and flowed. At times the sound and vibrations had me smiling and connecting to a real inner space of fun. At other times I felt very emotional and as if my body was clearing ‘old stuff’ as sound and vibration moved through me. The energy shifted and changed as the sounds within the session unfolded, the vibrational energy  was  magnificent

I was very aware during the session that the sound and vibrations were not just around me in my external energy but also very much moving through me, and within me.  As I gently moved my hips and pelvis, I completed different types of breath cycles and could really feel energy moving deep within me. I could feel the sound and its vibrations all over my Yoni space both externally and internally.

This was all very unexpected but as I continued to work with my breath  and engaged in more gentle hip rocking, and pelvic tilting my Yoni became alive.  I could really feel the energy moving within my Yoni space and as the sound and vibrations changed, I found my body moving in different ways. I felt so in my divine feminine and so awakened.

At one-point tears rolled down my face as I felt energy releasing from my body and at other point the energy felt cosmic, even orgasmic. Energy definitely moved for me and after I felt so amazing. I felt like my whole body had been reset, realigned and recalibrated. I felt so connected to my breath, my energy, my body and my yoni.

For days after I felt a deep sense of self connection and people said I looked glowing. I felt so alive within myself and felt I had gained a deep sense of knowing.  I felt so inspired by the Gong Experience and so connected to my Yoni. 

Everyone who attended had an experience unique to them. Everyone’s would have been different all based on their own belief systems, programming, and life events to date. There are  various life experiences that can create blocks and resistance in our energy. In this session I really felt some of these blocks where released, and connection was restored. 

This experience was so profound for me I asked Di if we could collaborate on an event to share my tantra work on connection to sexual energy, and her Gong Experience, with a focus on Yoni Connection. Our first workshop is on the 4th March 2023.  To find out more https://lorri.kartra.com/page/yoniworkshop

59

THE BENEFITS OF TANTRIC MASSAGE

There are many misconceptions about tantra and tantric massage, which are all largely based on cultural restrictions and taboos around sexual energy. Many people view connecting with sexual energy through massage as something very seedy. 

The truth is, tantric massage includes more than just massage. It aligns breathwork, meditation, mindfulness, movement and touch can be an amazing experience.  For me personally, and for many of my clients, tantric massage has been both liberating and healing. It helped me to reconnect, reset and realign my body and my sexual energy and really come home to myself in a deep and profound way. The impact it had on my life was such that I trained and now work as a tantric massage practitioner.

Tantric massage connects you to your mind, body, soul and even beyond into the universe. It caresses the core essence of our sexual energy, and holds space for your life force, and the very centre of your existence.

Tantra itself is not a new thing,  it is believed to have existed since 1500 BC. Many say it is considered to be part of the oldest cultures in our history. I believe that connecting to tantric principles through tantric massage is the most beautiful, honouring and self-connecting experience you can gift yourself.

Many people think tantric massage ends in the act of sex but this is not true. The journey is not based around any destination. It connects you to the core of your sexual energy by creating layers of awareness in the body. It works with the senses, and the mind ,and therefore can indeed feel very sensual. It also connects you into your emotions which in turn awakens different layers of the soul, and sensations in the body. 

Tantric massage sessions can include many things such breathwork, meditation, mindfulness, movement and touch. The breathwork supports you to relax into the space and expand your energy. Breathwork with meditation and mindfulness support you to be more connected and present with your body. The movement and touch also connect you to your energy centres and expands your feelings and emotions aligning you with your inner compass of wellbeing and physical health. There are also embodiment practices that support the session and used to help move energy and release limitations and blocks in your energy centres. 

A FEW BENEFITS OF TANTRIC MASSAGE 

  • Awakens and heals sexual energy 
  • Encourages sleep through relaxation 
  • Touch and massage relieve stress and anxiety 
  • Reduces depression through relaxation 
  • Improves self-confidence 
  • Improves body-confidence 
  • Greats inner happiness and blissful pleasure (happy hormones) 
  • Recharges and energises the body and mind  
  • Heals locked trauma in the body 
  • Teaches about touch and connection 
  • It can reduce high blood pressure 
  • The actual massage supports the lymphatic system, eases muscle tension and relaxes the body 
2

BEDROOM CONFIDENCE

Supporting people with confidence in the bedroom has become a key part of the work I do. Lacking bedroom confidence can have a devastating impact on relationships, marriages and I have seen it shatter lives. I have coached and mentored singles and couples alike to help them turn their lack of confidence into something that makes them flourish, in all areas of their lives.

Like many areas around intimacy and pleasure, a lack of confidence in the bedroom is not something openly talked about. The truth is, it is something that most of us face at some point in our lives. It maybe in our teens when we are embarking on new a relationship and more commonly in our adult years.

We can lack or lose bedroom confidence for many different reasons, such as, not having effective knowledge, being worried about our performance, verbal or physical abuse, challenges around communication, being naked, poor previous experiences; the list goes on.

This lack of confidence can become a vicious cycle as it can lead to reduced sexual response, reduced desire and the inability to orgasm. You may then suffer with low sex drive, sexual dysfunction, sexual arousal disorder and orgasmic disorder. This can create stress, judgement, fear and anxiety which can have a knock-on effect in other areas of your life.

The emotions attached can cause depression, anxiety and stress and in turn impact on your physical health. You can become disconnected, and experiencing any kind of pleasure in life can feel overwhelming.

Personally, I have struggled both in my youth and in some stages of adult life. At times I found it hard to communicate my needs, wants and desires and have been challenged by key events in my life which have knocked my confidence in the bedroom. As I have got older, my connection to intimacy and pleasure has evolved and exploring new things with a partner has, in the past, come with new obstacles to overcome. When you have a greater understanding of why you lack bedroom confidence, and how you can change it, there is a ripple effect through all areas of your life.

Taking supportive and aligned action to build bedroom confidence can change your whole life and give you a whole new perspective on intimacy.
2

CONSCIOUS COMMUNICATION AND CONSENT.

Conscious communication and consent can be complex and I can pretty much guarantee every single human-being, no matter who they are, finds navigating them a challenge throughout their entire life. 

The issue is that we don’t always know what we want and if we do we don’t have the interpersonal skills to ask for it. We don’t always know how to say “no” or navigate communication about our needs, both in intimacy and life. 

Take some time to consider the following questions:

Do you ask family and friends, including children, if they would like to receive a hug before you hug them?

Have you ever been hugged by someone at work and not wanted it?

Has someone ever touched your hand, arm or face and it made you feel uncomfortable?

Have you ever wanted to say no in intimacy and not said it?

Have you ever wanted to stay stop in the act of sex but didn’t  in case you offended? 

I know there will be many YES’s because the understanding around conscious communication and consent is NOT something we are born with. We learn it from early childhood modelling our interactions on those around us.  Many of us don’t take action to learn this skill and use it in our life to have heathier relationships. 

My awakening around conscious communication and consent really started when I started to explore swinging and BDSM (bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism and masochism). I made some poor choices within these lifestyles, sometimes putting myself into some risky situations. I made some very naive and awful mistakes around conscious communication and consent 

I learnt very quickly that I needed to approach my interactions differently, communicate differently and be empowered in consent.  I went through a very steep learning curve very quickly.  It was a challenging part of my journey and one that left many scares on an emotional and physical level. 

Conscious communication and  consent are needed for EVERY relationship we navigate in life. It is the basis of every positive human interaction and relationship. It forms the foundations for all good healthy relationships and impacts on all areas of life.

Foundations-and-Roots

Menopause and Tantric Massage

Menopause and Tantric Massage

Menopause can be a complex transition and for many women. They can feel disconnected from their bodies, sex, and intimacy.   Despite many women transitioning through menstruation, pregnancy, birth, and motherhood, menopause is a unique stage of transition. Every woman experiences it differently, and it can impact on mind and body in many ways. It affects a woman’s sexuality, sensuality, and sexual energy and can leave women feeling a deep mix of emotions, and many women struggle with the physical changes.

In my work, I have found that tantric massage can profoundly help women struggling with menopause to reconnect to their sexuality, sensuality, and sexual energy. The experience of combining both touch, massage, rituals, breathwork, mediation, and meditation can be extremely empowering and life-changing. It can empower a woman to connect with the body’s inner whisper and wisdom and reset the desire for passion and pleasure. I have worked with female clients struggling to transition to menopause to find an inner goddess and radiate like they have never done before.

Clients have found the tantric massage and its practices positively transform their menopause. They have permission to explore their connection with their body with no guilt, fear, or shame. It can also support issues such as pain, dryness, night sweats, hot flashes, vaginal dryness, anxiety, and loss of libido by seeking alternative ways to connect.

Tantric massage gives a woman a safe space to reconnect to her body and encourages self-exploration in a safe and supported way. It empowers communication, supports setting boundaries, and reconnects the mind and body to receiving touch. Women I have worked with also feel empowered in the self-care rituals and in considering new ways to connect to touch and physical connection to self.

Tantric massage supports reconnection with womanhood, helps rebuild the trust in the body, and empowers a woman to embrace her natural sexual self. It empowers her to rediscover her body all over again and helps with a balance of mind and body. It provides a renewed sense of intimacy with the body and builds confidence in relationships with self and others.

When delivering Tantric massage to a woman in the menopause transition, I have been amazed and astonished at the transformation they have experienced. As different as menopause is for every woman, so is their connection with tantric massage.  The one common theme is that in connecting to their body and mind through tantric massage, they connect, or reconnect, to a part of them they often believe they have lost, or they discover a new and exciting part of them to be explored and celebrated.